“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Sian budak tecit ni kena tinggal.
Ari tu terembat jeans 'guess' baru coz ada 50% diskaun. Tq laling :).
Ni lak indon tu tgh cat pagar.
walaupun rumah saya ni design dia tak cantik macam rumah2 baru sekarang ni tapi saya bersyukur sebab masa saya beli harga rumah ni sgt murah. Corner lot ngan tanah yg agak besar cuma rm210K sahaja. Bulan2 saya cuma bayar rm1K. Kalau saya beli rumah baru di luar puncak alam pun, saya takkan jual rumah ni. sayang ooo...
Sampai jer sana nurse terus inject ubat tahan sakit. Umar masa ni dah meraung2 kesakitan. Hancur luluh hati saya masa tu. Pas tu kena tegur dgn nurse sebab letak colgate. Patutnya nurse kata just lalukan bawah air sejuk. Colgate tu mmg mula2 dia sejuk tapi beberapa ketika lepas tu dia jadi panas. huhu..sian umar. 
Saya masuk OT, teman umar. Lepas umar dah pengsan sepenuhnya baru saya kuar.
Umar lepas kuat dr OT
Doc buang semua kulit yg gelembung & rosak tu. Then tanpal dgn kollagen dr membran lembu.Nanti biler isi baru tumpuh sepenuhnya lapisan membrane lembu ni akan tercabut sendiri.
Umar kat recovery area, lepas kuar dr OT
Nurse keringkan air2 yg mengalir keluar dr luka dgn hair dryer. Masa dlm bilik pun setiap 2 jam saya kena keringkan dgn hair dryer yg dibekalkan.
Dah kat bilik. Umar dah sedar, terus bagi dia minum air kosong dulu. Doc kata kalau tak muntah baru boleh bagi minum susu. Habis 2 botol air kosong umar minum. dahaga sgt kot.
Keadaan kaki umar after operation.
Mak Tok & Tok Ba dtg bawak kakak2, abg haris & baby khayla..semua dtg tgk umar.
Hari kedua, Bos hubby dtg melawat. Umar dapat beg barney ni. Thanks to En.Mutalif from Sapura.
Keadaan kaki umar pada hari ke-2. Dah kering sikit.
Hamper dr Company Hubby - Sapura
Umar dok spital 3 hari. Alhamdulillah hari ke-3 tu luka dah kering. Buat masa sekarang ni, umar mandi tak leh kena air kat kaki tu dan ada follow up check up seminggu/2 minggu sekali.
Eid Mubarak to everyone. Ampun & maaf seikhlas hati dr saya, suami & anak2.
Diaper cake yg digubah khas oleh Rusi utk baby khayla.. comei kan?
Ni pulak hadiah dr US.
receiving blanket dr diaper cake.. ada 4 semuanya. 
selimut yg tersangat lah lembutnyaa bak sutera.. 
Brg2 dr diaper cake 
saya suka ini!! 
tgk neh nail clipper dia siap ada kanta hehe 
kad ucapan.. 
Last sekali yg paling saya tunggu2.. baby cot from ikea..hoyeh!!
Tadaaa... siap dipasang.. 
Baby khayla dah rasmikan baby cot baru :) 
cantik sgt..saya sgt2 suka ...
ohh ada jugak coklat utk kakak2 & abg2 khayla :) 
